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When He Doesn’t Text Back

Nothing brings up all our garbage thoughts like dating.

Our self-doubt tells us we might be doing it wrong.

Our self-worth flounders a smidge. Or a lot.

So, when you go out with him, and he doesn’t text you back afterwards, your brain is going try to make sense of it.

Your brain may say:

  • There’s something wrong with me.
  • I must have done something wrong.
  • I must have said something wrong.
  • I’m not enough.
  • He’s a jerk.

But none of those things are true.

The only truth is this: You have a cell phone. He hasn’t sent a text message to your number.

The “why” is none of your business.

And if you really must have a “why” to calm your brain down, here it is:

He doesn’t want to text you.

That is reason enough.

If you want to text someone, you text them, right?

Same thing.

If you’re feeling upset because he hasn’t responded to you, get on a call with me. I know how to help.

See you there.

Schedule Now

How Drama

We all do it.

I do it, too, and I know better.

We want to do something, and tell ourselves this:

“But I don’t know how…”

Of course, we don’t know how.

We haven’t done it, yet.

We never know how until we look back.

That’s why you don’t see millionaires writing their “Rags to Riches” best sellers before they get rich.

They had no idea how they would get there, until they got there.

“How drama” will keep you stuck and prevent you from moving toward your goal.

Let’s talk – I can help you get out of “how drama” so you can stop spinning and start getting to work.

Let’s work – schedule a call now.

Schedule a Call

How to Make the Wrong Choice

Every day I hear this from at least one of my clients.

It sounds something like this.

“I don’t know what to do.”

“How do I decide?”

“I wish I knew the right thing to do.”

Here’s what I ask.

Why do you want to do it?

And.

Do you like your reason?

See, if you like your reason, it becomes a no-brainer.

Here’s an example.

  • Decision: I don’t want to take that public speaking gig.
  • Reason: Public speaking makes me nervous.
  • Do I like that reason? For me, no, that’s not a reason I can feel good about.

Here’s another example:

  • Decision: I don’t want to take that public speaking gig.
  • Reason: It’s my son’s birthday, and my time with him takes priority.
  • Do I like that reason? Yes, it aligns with my values.

And one more:

  • Decision: I’m thinking about reducing the cost of my art by $500
  • Reason: I’m afraid no one will buy it for $1000, as listed.
  • Do I like the reason? No, it’s worth even more than $1000.

So often, we make choices without checking in with ourselves on why we’re doing it.

You’ve heard it said: “That’s the right choice for her, but not the right choice for him.”

This is how to know if it’s the wrong choice.

Ask yourself why you’re choosing that. Then ask yourself if you like that reason.

I can help you make any choice you’re struggling with.

Schedule a Call With Me

Time and Your Brain

Brains are awesome. I just love brains.

My favorite part of the brain?

Prefrontal cortex.

Our prefrontal cortex is the highest thinking part of our brain.

It allows us to practice discipline.

It allows us to think about our own thinking.

It allows us to make decisions ahead of time.

And that is the true magic of the Do More With Less Time program.

This program sets us up to use our prefrontal cortex – the highest part of our brain – when planning our week.

When we use our highest brain to plan our week, we are deliberately planning our life and a way that is intentional and fully conscious of the results we desire.

We touch on this in the Do More With Less Time Quick Start course (12-minute, free course).

Come check it out and get more time in your day in a way that you’ve never tried in the past.

Subscribe and Watch the Course

Actions That Get Results

I’m a self-help junkie. For real.

For years, I spent time reading books, listening to podcasts and scanning the internet for wisdom from the “great thought leaders.”

All that sere-awareness, all those nights meditating on self-improvement…and I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t seeing results.

Turns out, it’s because I was in the wrong kind of action.

I was being passive.

Passive action is like dipping our toe in the water, but staying safe on the side of the pool – if you don’t get wet, you don’t have to dry off and retouch your makeup, right?

Passive action is interesting.

It’s inspiring.

Compelling.

But – it’s not transformative.

Results come from taking daring action, and daring action is scary.

Results aren’t over here in Safe-ville, where we read that magic sentence or hear that inspiring quote, and results magically appear before our eyes.

Results are out there, outside the cave, where it’s dangerous.

Results require willingness to feel the crappy feelings, like:

  • embarrassment
  • humiliation
  • frustration
  • insecurity

And you do it anyway.

Because you know the results are on the other side of those crappy feelings.

What can you take daring action on this week?

Oh, and those crappy feelings? I can help you move through them, because I do it every day and I can show you how.

The results you seek are on the other side, my friend.

Schedule a free call with me.

Let’s go.

Schedule Call

Focus Time

My calendar has a unique item.

It takes up 1 hour of every day.

Focus Time.

Focus time is time I calendar right after I calendar my “free time.”

It allows me to hold space for myself to turn off my notifications, turn over my phone, exit my email app, and just…focus.

During this time, I don’t schedule meetings.

I don’t check email.

I don’t read texts.

This time is sacred time reserved for creating.

I create things like:

  • My next podcast
  • Facebook ads
  • Emails to potential clients
  • Course content
  • Marketing plans

My creativity is what allows me to bring value to the world and grow my business in doing so.

It’s critical that I carve time out from the daily task-y items to prioritize this sacred time.

Interested in creating more time in your day?

This free course will give you all the tools you need – in 12 minutes.

Subscribe to Access Course

Joshua 1:9 and Our Scary World

I have a canvas on my wall that reads: “Never feel sorry for raising dragon slayers in a world where there are actual dragons.”

No idea who said that.

But I love it.

It seems like a scary world out there.

I wonder what my sons’ lives will be like.

Will they have the same freedom and protection that I had?

Will they have the means to live comfortably?

Will they live in fear and oppression?

When I allow myself to indulge in worry and fear (and it is self-indulgent), one powerful scripture comes up.

Joshua 1:9.

Be strong and courageous.

He didn’t tell us to be fearful and anxious.

Or to create problems that we’re not actually facing.

He didn’t even tell us to relax and not worry.

He said be strong and courageous.

Strength and courage are active states of being that take intention and focus.

Being strong and courageous requires us to be realistic about the current situation, while having faith that we will know exactly what to do when the time comes.

If you’re struggling with fear and anxiety – like many are due to the last two years – schedule a call with me.

I’ll help you find your strength and courage to show up big in your life without worry and overwhelm.

Passive vs. Massive Action

Not all actions get results.

The passive actions – researching, thinking about it, brainstorming, polling friends – that kind of action doesn’t get results.

It wastes time and gives us a great excuse for staying safe, procrastinating and not taking massive action.

Massive actions get results.

You know you’re in massive action when you have to hold your breath before you hit “send.”

When you feel a little queasy.

When it’s a little scary.

When you are willing to feel the discomfort and push through it anyway.

What massive action have you taken toward your goal this week?

Have you created something new and put it out into the world? Made 100 offers to people who may say “no?” Upsold a new product to a client? Started a new program?

Or have your actions this week simply supported your status quo?

If you’re not taking massive action, you can’t expect massive results.

I help clients take massive action – and get the results they seek.

Take massive action now and schedule a consult call.

See you there.

Hard Things and Consequences

“You know a woman’s character by the hard choices she makes.” – Angie Burel

Hard things are hard to do.

They have consequences.

And collateral damage.

Living into your truth is not easy. It’s hard.

We rarely see it in other people’s choices.

And that’s why it can be jarring when we see someone do it.

Standing up for someone who is vulnerable.

Respecting your physical, spiritual and emotional boundaries.

Saying “no” when you’re expected to say “yes.”

Honesty. Even if they get mad at you.

Courage. Even if they get mad at you.

Faith. Even if they get mad at you.

Resolve. Even if they get mad at you.

The consequences of doing hard things hurt.

But they don’t kill you.

And, from the eternal perspective, they are always, always worth it.

What Am I Afraid Of?

It’s one of the most powerful questions you can ask yourself.

If you’re feeling:

  • Anxious
  • Angry
  • Sad
  • Apprehensive
  • Confused

Ask yourself: What am I afraid of?

I’ve had so many answers to this question over the years, depending on my situation.

  • A friend will be angry with me
  • My relationship will change
  • My income will decrease or stop
  • I’ll have to move
  • I’ll lose something I love or depend on

When I allow myself to explore this question, and really go deep into finding the root of my fear, the thing I’m afraid of is never the worst case scenario.

It’s not the end of the world.

It may be hard temporarily.

But I know how to do hard things.

If you’re struggling today with a sense of unrest, ask yourself:

What am I afraid of?

And allow yourself to hear the answer.

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