Learn to Scull – Day Four – “Check Off” Day

It’s the final day of training and the coaches are deciding whether I passed the class.

If I pass the class, I get “checked off” which means I have permission to check out the club’s boats and row at my leisure.

The coach assigns a slimmer boat to me this time. Slimmer boats = more speed, less stable, so more balance is required.

My brain immediately starts going to work on creating drama.

“You suck at balancing the boat.”

“You’re going to flip.”

“There’s no way you’re getting checked off today – not if you have to row this boat.”

“The other boat was better.”

I get in the boat with the usual clumsy oars-everywhere-butt-slams-down-on-seat manner.

Take a deep breath.

And just take a moment to notice my my thoughts.

And to allow the thoughts.

And to answer my brain.

“Thanks, brain, for keeping me safe from embarrassment. It’s going to be fine. The worst thing that can happen is I fall in the water, don’t get checked off, and have to repeat the class – which wouldn’t be all that bad. Nothing’s going to hurt us. We can do hard things, even embarrassment.

“Let’s go.”

And I rowed 2k out and 2k back.

Did I wobble a bunch more? Yes.

Were there a couple times when I was sure I was going under? Yes.

Did I learn how to recover my balance with each wobble? Yes.

The feeling of growth and fulfillment I have from trying something new – something that I may have failed at – was worth every negative emotion over the past four days.

Oh.

And I totally got checked off ;o)

PS – I help moms who are working remotely overcome overwhelm and create more time for themselves in the day – and, I’d love to help you.

Day Two of Four of doing something totally new, here we go!

8am Woke up exhausted. Using the part of your brain that needs to learn new things takes a great deal of energy. I’m reminded that my brain’s main function is to conserve energy, avoid danger, and seek pleasure. Learning a new sport isn’t on that list, so naturally it’s tired. And so am I.

10am Looking forward to actually getting out on the water today. Start to imagine how the water will sound as the oar pushes through the surface and behind my boat.

12pm-5pm Distracted by work all day.

5pm It occurred to me I could flip the boat today out on the water, and I don’t know how to get back in. Also (my brain tells me), that water is cold. Decided to watch a video on how to get back in if I flip. Watched the video. Got even more nervous because that guy has way more upper body strength than I do.

6pm Learn to Scull class starts. She picks everyone else but me to get in their boats as I observe. I’m secretly relieved that I got to postpone all the embarrassment of “not doing it right” that I knew was impending. Then, I’m angry at myself for being secretly relieved – “You’re a life coach! Why are you trying to avoid embarrassment! We do embarrassment. We do shame. We do risk….” Then, I realize I’m being a human being who is nervous and I give myself a little grace.

6:30pm “Ok Jenn, it’s your turn. Get in the boat and then I’ll guide you off the dock to open water,” says Lauren, the instructor.

Oh boy. It’s happening. I take a minute to mentally go through all the steps. Push the oar out, hold the handles high, one foot in, then other foot in…and I get in with all the gracefulness of a dog slipping on a wet tile floor.

The boat teeters right, my stomach drops. I recover. And, I push off the safe, solid dock.

Brain: “OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. Don’t fall in. Where was I supposed to keep my hands? What did she say about balancing?”

Me answering brain: “We may fall in. We can swim. It’ll be a great story to tell later. But we probably won’t. We’ll probably use this time to make all our mistakes so we learn with a coach near us to help, rather than waiting to make mistakes and take risks with our form when we’re rowing alone.”

Brain calms down. Or maybe gives up arguing. Either way, brain is quiet.

And I row.

I’m on a journey, and I’m taking you with me.

It’s the journey of doing something totally new and out of my comfort zone.

And bringing my brain along for the ride.

Day One of “Learn to Scull” class. Class starts at 6pm.

It’s 8am. And I am pumped!

It’s noon. And I’m counting down.

It’s 3pm. And I’ve filled my water bottle with ice, laid out my clothes and sun screen, and I’m thinking out the most efficient route to get to the lake.

It’s 4pm. And my brain starts to wake up. “We don’t really want to do this. What’s the point? You’ve been fine without rowing for 12 years. You like to jog. Jogging is more accessible and way more affordable. Jogging takes you away from your kids less. Why would you bother learning a sport you probably won’t have time to do? I should skip the class and stay home and work on my upcoming Facebook live class for my coaching practice.”

It’s 5pm. And my brain is on high alert. “It’s 105 degrees outside. You shouldn’t be out in this heat. And you might get injured. Doesn’t a glass of cold Chardonnay sound amazing? So much more enjoyable than that class. Let’s stay home in the air conditioning and drink chilled wine.”

It’s 5:45pm. I’ve gotten myself to the lake, and I’m waiting for the class to start.

It’s quiet, no one else has showed up, yet.

So I take some time to check in with my brain.

“Hey love,” I tell my brain, “look at you go! I’m so fascinated by the things you come up with, sometimes. But we’re here, now. And we’re doing this. With the racing heart and the nervous tummy and all the feels. I’ve got you, brain. Now let’s go.”

I was so fascinated by my brain’s response to trying something new!

I can’t wait to see what it offers me on Day Two of “Learn to Scull.” :oP

P.S. I want to help you “get it all done” with free time just for you to spare at the end of the day. Let’s talk and see if I can help you get there.

I used to be a competitive rower.

Then I got pregnant.

That didn’t stop me – it was the punch to the belly from a rogue oar that ended my rowing phase.

And I kept saying I’d start again, when I had time.

Years went by, I added baby #2, and told myself I still didn’t have time.

When the boys were old enough to be alone, I told myself I didn’t have the money.

And I kept telling myself that.

For 12 years.

Until last week.

Last week, “Learn to Scull” came up on Instagram at our local lake.

For the non-rowers out there, I was a sweep rower – totally different than sculling.

The advantage of sculling is that I could row on my own, which meant I could make my own rowing schedule.

Finally.

I could reincorporate rowing back into my life.

Sure, I’d have to learn a new way to row – a way that I’d never been able to master in my half-hearted attempts to learn in the past.

But the allure of the clunk of the oar locks, the swoosh of pushing water past the boat, and the quiet rustles of nature around me was enough to motivate me.

And as I clicked the “pay now” button as I was signing up, and blocked my calendar for the next four evenings to attend the class, I realized something.

I always had the time.

And I always had the money.

I was just intimidated to try something completely brand new.

Join me in my posts this week as I share my journey of learning to scull at 46 years old.

Ready to row. And row.

P.S. – You do so much for everyone else. You deserve to have time for yourself. I can help you find the time.

Last Saturday, we went to a concert in our community.

Tainted Love.

If you have the chance, you don’t want to miss them.

I live in a small community.

And we all know each other – if not by name, by our car or golf cart or kids’ names.

After the concert, our friend busted out his mobile DJ booth and DJ’ed in the parking lot as the gridlock of cars were trying to exit the parking lot.

We started dancing right there in the gravel lot.

And a few others even joined us.

Before coaching, I would have never danced in the parking lot.

I mean, who does that, right?

I would have been too insecure.

I would have worried about what the other moms thought about me.

I would have been self-conscious about my (lack of) dancing skills.

I would have been concerned that my neighbors would post a video on social media.

I would have been terrified that someone thought I was acting drunk and foolish.

Know what else I would have done?

I would have missed out.

Big time.

See, I’m not afraid to feel embarrassed, anymore.

I’m not worried about what others think about me, anymore.

Because of this, I no longer miss out on all the opportunities to live…

…and have silly stories to share…

…and celebrate my blessings of this life.

I invite you to do the same.

If you’re afraid to dance in the parking lot with a line of traffic watching you, we need to talk. I can help you.

Unless you’ve got a really great mate or a full time housekeeper, you probably have to fold laundry.

With two kiddos, two dogs, and myself, I fold one load per day minimum.

And I’m consistent…until I’m not.

My inconsistency starts with a thought:

“I don’t want to fold the laundry.”

And then I may as well just give up.

Because my lower brain, my toddler brain, has already dug her heels in.

I feel resistant.

I don’t fold the laundry (so it piles up and eventually we don’t have clean clothes to wear).

I ruminate about how the laundry is piling up, and start to feel overwhelmed.

I notice that I start to let other household chores go, like keeping the sink free of dirty dishes.

Ugh.

It all starts with that thought: “I don’t want to fold the laundry.”

What if I decide to choose a new thought?

What if I choose to think:

“I’m the best person for this job.”

“I’m totally hooking up my future self when she wants to get dressed and finds clean clothes in her closet.”

“I’m so fortunate to have a washer and dryer that work.”

Can I get to, “I can’t wait to fold laundry?”

I’m not saying never, but ya, probably not ever ;o)

But I can get to a place where I feel neutral about the laundry.

And feeling neutral about the laundry will cause me to just fold it.

I have to go.

I have laundry to fold.

P.S. – If you’re struggling with time management, I can help you create more time in your day. Sign up for a free, obligation-free call with me.

Indecision is a time-waster.

And an energy waster.

You don’t need to swim in overwhelm and confusion.

You need to decide what your desired outcome is.

Decide to be all in.

And start taking action.

What are you losing time on by floating in indecision?

What choice have you been putting off, that is causing distraction for you?

I can help you make any decision in 30 minutes or less.

Sign up.

Relationships are 50/50.

Meaning, half the time, you’re jiving and things are rainbows and roses.

Half the time, there are miscommunications and disappointments.

It’s true in your current relationship.

And, if you’re like most of us, and you start to think your life would be easier/better/happier without that person…

…be advised.

It will be 50/50 without that person, too.

And it will be 50/50 with your next relationship.

You’re really just changing what the other 50% looks like. But the crappy 50% is still part of the deal.

This is true in jobs.

This is true in volunteer groups and churches.

We will never get away from the contrast by leaving the situation.

We’re much better served by learning to embrace both sides of the 50/50 for what it is.

The human experience.

Exploring greener grass and need a neutral party to talk it out with? Schedule a call with me now.

And I want to help you.

Have you been trying to reach a result, and you’ve tried everything?

You know something needs to change, but you’re not sure what else you can do?

You’re life’s ok. Nothing to complain about. But…

…something is missing.

You know you’re meant for something more.

Let’s talk.

It’s free and no pressure.

Have you ever noticed that, when you’re around certain people, you feel…

…absolutely exhausted?

I used to think it was because of the people I was around.

I called them “energy vampires.”

Now I know the truth.

“They” aren’t the ones sucking the energy out of me.

It’s me.

And my normal human brain.

I’m resisting the situation (or the conversation, or even my thoughts about that person).

And when I’m resisting, it takes an incredible amount of energy from me.

The solution is to recognize the feeling of resistance as it comes up, and then to allow it without fighting it.

While allowing the resistance, get curious.

What am I out of alignment with in this situation?

Why might I feel resistance?

What might I be resisting?

How can I find value in this information?

P.S. I’m a life coach. If you’re finding yourself exhausted at the end of your day, I want to help you. Schedule your free, no pressure call with me. Let’s talk.